Reverse Culture Shock

I went to bed at the correct time on Monday night after I got back in town, slept 10 hours, and woke up the next morning feeling better than expected.   My only complaint was this strange subtle headache.  I literally felt like I had a hangover or something, but I had not touched a drop in a while.  Is this normal?  I mean, do people get headaches instead of just being tired?  What a strange symptom of being jet lagged. 

I got it together, and sent Nat off to his first final.  I was nervous for him, but confident because he was more than ready for his test.  I spent the rest of the afternoon doing some errands.  I used my Groupon for Anytime Fitness and signed up for my three-month membership for $30.  Besides catching up on four different seasons of television and going to the gym, I really did not do much during the couple of weeks Nat was taking his finals.  I know I sound lazy, but traveling around the world in three months is not easy feat!  I really enjoyed taking my time acclimating back to my life in the US.  I would like to share my observations on reverse culture shock – what an individual experiences upon return to his/her country after an extended period of time. 

My symptoms of Reverse Culture Shock include:

1. Amazement at my ability to order free iced water in any restaurant I walk into
2. Disappointment because I do not have tea or coffee 4-5 times a day
3. Being expected to listen and understand every word of every sentence uttered by every person I interact with
4. Realization that driving like a Ukrainian and not wearing a seat belt is no longer cool
5. Loneliness derived from the fact that all of my best friends do not live under one roof in a hostel anymore
6.  Feelings of rejection when my American friends refuse my offering of tea or coffee when they come over
7. Recognition that my short bangs are not high fashion anymore 

Show me sexy!

I get the question all the time here, "Erika, why are you smiling?"  I tell them because I am happy; I am an American; It's just what I do.  I know it's easy as an American to always wonder why Eastern European women look so angry all the time.  I stipulated maybe the sour faces can be attributed to the frequent wearing of heeled shoes; I tried to wear a pair to work last week and am still nursing my raw feet.  I suppose during Soviet times, people just did not smile in pictures.  It was a stern time - happiness is found in the collective; individuals have no right to smile in pictures.  All in all, Eastern Europeans just hate fake smiles.  There is one thing they do very well - sexy.


I went to the doctor bar in Kiev with an Australian girl, and the totally amazing girl who works at the hostel, Natasha.  As we waited for our drinks and food to come, we took some silly pictures on my camera, when we started to discuss why it was that Westerners just cannot do "sexy" poses.  I am embarrassed to put these pictures online, but they were just too great to pass up.    

Silly pictures begin

Natasha tells us, put one finger in your mouth and be serious.  This is a much harder task than it sounds.  It's just silly.  Really. Try it.  So we give it a go.

Not bad for a first try, but we are told to try harder

Very much not amused by our inability to look sexy

This was one of the most hysterical photo shoots I have ever done.  We were dying of laughter.  The best line of the night came from Natasha.  Upon closer examination of the pictures, she simply said, "OK, you can die now."


Thanks, Natasha.  We are happy to have your blessings for a peaceful rest.  


So we try again, and again.  Unfortunately, we just started trying way too hard.  As you can see in the below picture.  

Are we trying to hard?

It really does look like we are dying.  Our distorted faces offended Natasha, so we decided to just give it up and leave it to the professionals. 

Juxtaposition between East and West

The images below might be disturbing.  Proceed with caution.

So there you have it - Westerners just don't have a natural affinity to do sexy poses.  It's not in our blood.  I guess I better stick to what I am good at and smile.

We can still be friends.

Now, this is what I call a night club!

Jason:  "Does it have audio?"

Erica: "Oh yea!"

I never thought I would see the day when a night club played a techno remix of the Mos Eisley Cantina music.  My life is complete.  I would like to say that maybe it was just the choice of nerdy music that kept the girls off the platforms, but it was like this all night.  I have never seen so many boys dancing by themselves on platforms... okay okay, but the Castro does not count! 

Where statues go to die



What do you do with the relics of your slightly unpleasant past? Well, some countries, rather than look the skeletons in their closet in the face, will destroy or burn the memorabilia they choose to forget.  Russia, on the other hand, tore down their Soviet monuments and converted their grim past into something the future can appreciate and enjoy – what follows is a colorful and somewhat disturbing addition to my Trans-Siberian Collection 2010 taken at a statue park in Moscow.

Some of these statues reminded me of Burning Man.  There were people climbing them and taking silly pictures just like me.  I promise I wasn't that annoying tourist!  I was just joining in on the fun!



I was a little surprised that parents bring their children to this park.  The kids eat ice cream and run around a torn down statue of Stalin while the parents drink beer and watch.



Fetus Fish







Enjoying the ride

That looks like fun!  Let me try!



Random Naked Wooden Men

 

Can I get some vodka with my Red Bull?

Claudia went out in search of a dance club and managed to stumble upon Picasso’s DJ Bar.  After successfully using the “Hello!  We are from California!” bit, we were happily admitted into the basement club.  We checked our jackets and were pleasantly surprised by the remixes we heard.  Yes, it was techno, but I actually felt we could dance to it!  Excited to get the night started, Claudia and I made our way past the glittery dresses and ties to the bar.  Feeling a bit tired still from the traveling, Claudia asked for vodka Red Bull to wake her up.  I asked for two vodka Red Bulls and after a minute, our bar tender returns with a can of Red Bull with a straw.  Confused, I take a sip and after getting a concurrence from Claudia that the drink was indeed non-alcoholic, I tell the bar tender I had asked for VODKA with Red Bull.  “Ohh!  OK!” he says and asked for 200 more Rubles.  I pay the man, get my vodka Red Bull and decided it is time to run away, since it sounded like he was asking for even more money.  All that was left of that 1000 Ruble bill Claudia had given me for both drinks was a mere 50 Ruble bill.  Apparently, not only is drinking vodka with another beverage highly foreign in Russia, but also they really hammered the “Moscow is the most expensive city in the world” concept into my head.  We had just paid $30 to share vodka Red Bull.  Friends, just another example of how Moscow is, in the words of Lady Gaga, Beautiful and Dirty Rich.  

A nice Russian boy offered to give us a mini photo shoot

Beautiful and Dirty Rich

I arrived to Moscow, happy to become reacquainted with this city of my past.  My first experience in Moscow was shrouded in dishevelment and sleep deprivation.  Instead of using the train system to get from St. Petersburg to Moscow, we were forced to take an old Soviet style bus that sputtered along the somewhat unpaved roads, because my study abroad program was banned from taking the train system.  Why you might ask?  Turns out the students hosted a Toga Party, got ridiculously drunk and made fools of themselves.  At the time I though this was ridiculous, but having lived on the trains for the past few weeks, I can see how this scenario is totally plausible.  Unable to sleep on the bus ride to Moscow, feeling incredibly dirty after sweating through the night, and wearing tennis shoes all sucked enjoyment out of my first experience with the capital of Russia.  

This time, I resolved that it would be different.  After almost a month of carrying around more makeup than necessary for a backpacker who is traveling for 3 months, buying a hair straightener in Beijing, and carrying a pair of useless heels, I finally am reaping the benefits. 

My traveling tip for you: If a club in a foreign country looks like they are doing Face Control (controlling the people who come into the club based on how cool they look) just speak in English and tell them you are from California.  Works every time.  Second tip: Do not be afraid if an old Russian man walks up to you to smell your beer to make sure it is of high quality.  This is an act of friendship.

The clubs we went to that night did not disappoint.  We spent the evening dancing to tunes such as Shake, Rock and Roll, Girls just wanna have fun, The Ghost Busters Theme, popular hit by Romanian band Ozone, Cotton-Eyed Joe, Vanilla Ice, Hammer Time, and a few other random eclectic songs.  My favorite random song was played at the end of the night.  It was meant to be a slow romantic song - but there is nothing romantic about slow dancing to Stan by Eminem (song about a deranged fan who drive his car over a bridge with his pregnant girlfriend in the trunk).  "Oh hunny, dance with me!  They are playing our song!"

At the end of the night, or start of the morning as it was already about 6:15AM when we finally got to go home, we decided it would be best to take a short cab ride home. I flagged down a taxi, asked him in Russian if he could take us to our hostel.

Cab Driver: "No, that is too close.  It is better if you just walk."

Erica: "Please, sir.  I am so tired,  We will pay you.  Help me"

Cab Driver: "No, you walk."

He drove away and I was left wondering if he learned his taxist manners in China.

Heels and Vodka: A lesson on Russian Culture

  Over the long weekend, I had the pleasure of attending another post-semester Russian party.  Although there were only a few people I recognized from my SF City College class, when it was time to leave, I found it incredible hard to pry myself away from the lively party.  I had an amazing time chatting it up with fellow students and Russian significant others.  My evening flew by as we recounted ridiculous stories of our time abroad and experiences while studying this convoluted language.  While at the party, I came across some interesting bits of Russian culture I thought I would share with you.

1. As many of you who know me well might have already heard, during my study abroad period in St. Petersburg, I was sourly met with disapproving stares by the women both young and old of Russia.  Maybe I, like many other Americas, believed Russia really can't get that hot - after all, when we think of Russia, don't we all equate it to Pluto?  A body of mass that is far away, relatively unknown, and bitterly cold?  In July of 2006, St. Petersburg experienced a blistering heat wave that broke many records.  That same summer, I learned a valuable lesson about Russia's weather when I failed to pack more than one pair of jeans and an unattractive pair of long shorts.  Oh, and that myth that Russia is a conservative country was quickly debunked when I found myself standing next to tall, beautiful blonde women in full makeup, heels and sexy jeans with holes down the side.  On the subway, when I looked down at my feet to avoid the uncomfortable stares, my worn out tennis shoes reminded me of my clearly non-Russian fashion choice.  Ah yes, hind-sight is as crystal clear as my  post-LASIK vision.

The concept of why European women are so adamant about wearing evening makeup during the day and stiletto heels in cities that treacherously use cobble stones and metal grates along the ground is explored in Slavenka Drakulic's How We Survived Communism and Even Laughed.  During the Soviet Russia, makeup, nylons, hair dye, heels, and anything else (even tampons!) we take for granted today at Nordstrom's and Walgreen's were as rare as free speech.  Drakulic dismisses the claim that Westerner's have fabricated this need for material products and accessories in order to make a profit, because in her experience living under communism she found women have an inherent need to feel beautiful and sexy.  Her book stipulates that the Soviet Regime was doomed for failure the day it began to deprive women of basic needs and luxuries because this meant it was unable to satisfy 50% of its population.  Looking back, most of feminine culture and fashion was developed in the 20th century, so naturally now Russian women are making up for lost time by dressing up more when they dine at McDonald's than I would for an evening at a 4 star restaurant.

Conclusion:  On your next trip to Russia, pack lots of makeup, a push up bra and a nice set of heels.  Remember ladies: Tennis shoes are for gym use only!

2.    Russians rarely order vodka when they drink at a bar.  This is yet another interesting bit of Russian culture that I am trying to wrap my mind around.  Flash back:  St. Petersburg '06- young Erika Erikovna at a popular local bar, Fidel's.  "Another half pint of Baltika 8??  Common', guys!  We are in Russia, for goodness sake!  Where's the vodka??"  Two hours later... I realize that the threat of terrorist attacks has led the Russian government to remove all trash cans from the metro stations.  Ok, this is what I get for thinking I could understand the mystery of Russian drinking culture.  During my private tutoring lesson with Olya, she let me in on a secret her mother shared with her.  Russians...tend to only drink vodka with food!  This food is known as "Закуски" and include: vinigret, little sandwiches, caviar, pickled spring onions, etc.  If done correctly, this foreign sounding food can be extremely delicious, but as I mentioned only if done correctly.  Proceed with caution. 

Conclusion:  The rest of the alcohol-drinking world should remember that Russians drink vodka over dinner or with appetizers.  Taking shots at a bar on an empty stomach is a bad idea, no matter how Russian you are feeling!