Yes, I know that there is a lot of traffic, but do you really need to grumble and complain under your breath, cabista? China’s fine taxi cab system – “I will take a break when I damn-well want to take a break.” On Friday evening, the metro was so incredibly crowded that we decided to go above ground to catch a taxi. The metro made me feel like I was attempting to flee the Soviet Union. Finding a cab was almost as futile. After finally coercing a taxi driver into taking us to our destination, we found ourselves in an equally horrific mire – one that resembled the scene from Independence Day when everyone was driving out of the city, only to realize that they should just grab their suitcases and start walking lest they parish in the Armageddon. We were stuck in jam so bad that our cab driver literally turned off the engine, got out of the cab, and light up a cigarette. Most cabs won’t even pick you up on a Friday night. Like I said, if the government is paying you one way or another, why should you pick up a fare and brave Beijing during rush hour? Haven’t you read any Ayn Rand?